Louise Candlish on… photo opportunities

November 2007

Above: Louise Candlish

In my experience authors fall into two categories: household names and not-quite-yet-household names. As one of the second group eager to join the first, I am taught to be alert to all publicity opportunities. Which is how I came, one Thursday morning not long ago, to be walking from room to room of my house without actually being able to recognise it. The floors gleamed, the toys were artfully stacked, and tulips of all colours rose from vases I’d forgotten I owned. Yes, Greta and I were being photographed for House Beautiful magazine.

I say Greta and I, but we didn’t know until the magazine people arrived that they wanted us in it, too. Since Greta was due at nursery we had to reschedule her bit, and then a second time when it rained, and then again when it turned out she had a Big School event she couldn’t get out of.

In the middle of this it made me laugh to read a column in the Sunday papers saying that any mother who uses her infant for publicity purposes should be put against the wall and shot (or words to that effect). Celebrities everywhere could only blush over their corn-free cornflakes. And ordinarily I would have agreed with every word of it, had I not now known first hand that divas are born, not made.
    There I was thinking my daughter a shy little thing with eyes only for Her Little Ponies, when all along she’d been Naomi Campbell in pigtails. The first hissy fit came when, not appreciating the habit of photographers to be a teeny bit late, she’d been ready since 8am in her sparkly shoes and Cinderella tiara and was now too bored to wait any longer. The poor guy hadn’t even set up the lights before she was wriggling out of shot and demanding Ribena.

Finally, after lolling on her bed, cuddling the cat and appearing to listen to me read the Tale of Samuel Whiskers (in reality, she’d been repeating under her breath, ‘I want a treat after this’, over and over again), the photographer suggested we move to the front steps.
    ‘Fine,’ I said, thinking of the shot of my book cover they’d agreed to include in the feature.
    But Greta looked at him with infinite weariness. ‘OK, I’ll do one more. But after that I’m watching Numberjacks.’
    Lord only knows what she’ll be like if she ever has books of her own to promote.

Louise’s novel Since I Don’t Have You (Sphere, £6.99) is in the bestseller lists now